WTF 52+2

 Monday March 22

last day at the hospital

Tuesday March 23

did the infusion and it went okay - scary. Jim exhausted.

Wednesday March 24

I worked and did the infusion and when I was almost done Natasha Jones came from the home health people. Moved forward a bit. taped a bit for the poster session competition. Nils says he wants me to do some different things - alumni relations etc. I have to make sure he understands that we are overloaded.

Thursday March 25

Something or other, including a staff meeting where we talked about returning to campus and it was nice to see everyone. Then stuff and things and the admin meeting where things got a bit tense talking about the speaker budget.

Friday March 26

We went to the park for lunch I think, and then to In 'n Out burgers for dinner. Ben called an checked in and Jim was so happy. 

Thankfully, Jim is strong and they were good and late Monday night he was finally released and now I am giving IV antibiotics once a day and next Friday he will have another surgery that fixes the first surgery and on April 5 he has his post-surgery visit and we hope this is all over. He is so much better already, sitting at his desk and sorting through the avalanche of papers that have arrived while he was out. I am slowly catching up on the accumulated stuff on my desk and turning myself right side up.

 

Apart from the worry and details and stuff the whole hospital experience is so weird (as you know from experience). It is a bit like an airport; a liminal space where a lot of what you do is wait and hope that someone is in charge with a plan. Every day you try to understand what is going on and what is important and what is random and what needs attention and what does not matter. Every day there are new people you are dependent on and you just have to hope that they are mostly competent and remember all the details of what is going on with this particular patient. We had a few who were less than, but many good people and a few who were excellent. Among them were two nurses who were proactive about our needs and willing to explain the next step and made sure we asked for the right things.

 

Whoever was working and whatever else happened it was still all at a few steps remove from regular reality. The isolation of the hospital after the isolation of the freeze after the isolation of the pandemic each added a few more steps, each served to demonstrate the fragility even of the mundane. Oh, and my friend Annika’s partner Tony, whose cancer is now beyond treatment, shared with me the playlist for his memorial service. His range of musical interests are as broad as yours – from the Theme from Rocky to Por Una Cabeza and Rameau’s Les Sauvages (so strange that you had just lent me that). I feel honored that he sent it to me now, and talked about it, but also heartbroken.

 

Other than that the sun is actually shining and the leaves on the trees hold the promise of life and spring and joy. The cats are pleased we are home, but irritated that they don’t get to chew on the medical supplies.

 

Saturday March 27

Made sure the dissertation proposal workshop started well and then signed off. Short calls with Annika and mom and went to the post office and had lunch with Lauri at Pandera Bread in Arlington. Small menu and confused staff but very nice to sit outdoors. Now lounging and Jim is talking with Kim.

Sunday, I don't know about Sunday ... Oh yeah, our washing machine broke. Pffft.

52+1 WTF

 Monday March 15 numbers:

Back to the doctor - again ..

World: 119,837,380 - 2,653,181 dead

US: 29,437,707 - 534,877

Russia:

Texas: 2,272,462 - 46,423 dead

Florida: 1,976,808 - 32,255 dead

Sweden: 712,527 - 13,146 dead

 

I don't know Tuesday. Wednesday March 17 I called for an ambulance and took Jim to Texas Health Presbyterian. That day is a blur. I went along, was thrown out for a few hours while they covid tested, and I wasn't sure I would ever see him again if he got worse and they could not figure it out. went to the mall and got shorts and tshirt and was welcome back and then waited in an ER room until 9 pm when we got a room -675 and I went home to feed the cats and get some stuff and food and went back and stayed the night and then for two more nights and then I slept at home the last two nights. I don't remember how things happened but people were good and Doctor Duggal inspiring and Dr. Karanam solid and careful. Even Chad the chaplain was nice and talked to Jim about moral injury and that really connected for Jim.

 

Susamma, Dolores the housekeeper, Anna (and Theresa) from the Philippines, Gem, the woman who grew up in England, Shanee who was wonderful, Mark who helped with the shower, Mike who was really timid,  at the end Heather who was also wonderful.

 

Sunday we thought he'd get to go home on Monday and thanks to Shanee we got the midline put in and the respiratory work prepped.  Monday Dr. Karanam wanted a CT to check his oxygen and saw a little something on a lung and a tear of some sort on the descending artery so she wanted a cardiac consult so we had to stay until eight at night to get Dr. Peterman? to stop by. He said Jim was not interesting, which is good, and to make an appointment within three to six months.

and here it is - WTF 52 - a year of madness, fear, and exhaustion

 March 8-14

Sunday march 7 numbers:

World: 116,822,839 - 2,593,073 dead

US: 28,991,680 - 525,031

Russia: 4,274,263 - 87,614

Texas: 2,695,558 - 45,315 dead

Florida: 1,944,995 - 31,683 dead

Sweden: 684,961 - 13,003 dead

 

Monday we went to the doctor and were told to come back in the afternoon and they still would not remove the catheter and we went home, depressed and I worked and then set up Bookings on one of the days and on Tuesday I don't remember and on Wednesday we went back to the doctor because J was in pain and they inflated the balloon a little and then there was faculty meeting and then the website was going to go live and then the faculty got really annoyed with the website and then I found mistake after mistake and fixed and fixed and then tried to get bookings live and then Thursday the staff meeting and I learned that Nils will be in Germany all next week and then the something and then the admin meeting that John did not go to. Friday morning was a meeting about the website and they had good solutions and I learned that Nils will not attend the admin meetings anymore - agh. Somewhere on Friday the 5th I wrote to Linda and Tina and they wrote back on Wednesday or Thursday and I think we are okay ... Saturday we met Lauri for lunch at the Grease Monkey - good food but soo many people not wearing masks - oh yeah, the statewide mask mandate ended Wednesday - sigh.

My fitbit drew its last breath and I ordered a new one and it got here Sunday. I walked in the park on a couple of different days and it is glorious and the green is every where. 

 

Talked to mom and Rachel and not so much to Annika but they got to meet the dogs for the first time....

Biden gave a speech about mourning our losses sometime during the week and I just lost it. Realized I had not really mourned and I am so tired. He was really good and it was wonderful to have a leader who actually, honestly, cares.

Sunday march 14 numbers:

World: 119,837,380 - 2,653,181 dead

US: 29,437,707 - 534,877

Russia:

Texas: 2,272,462 - 46,423 dead

Florida: 1,976,808 - 32,255 dead

Sweden: 712,527 - 13,146 dead

 

51 WTF - still here, still tired

 Monday March 1, 2021

World: 114,051,765 - 2,530,563 dead

US: 28,605,527 - 513,091

Russia:

Texas: 2,653,013 - 43,697 dead

Florida: 1,909,221 - 30,852 dead

Sweden: 657,309 - 12,826 dead

 

the days just went and went and went - Wednesday morning we went to Jim's doctor. We had lunch at the park and I walked and listened to the birds and breathed. Also, Abbott rescinded the mask mandate and said for everything to open up. Thursday we were told that Nils will take over as interim dean when Balsamo leaves at the end of May (apparently she declared with very little advance notice that she is stepping down). I wrote to Linda about the farm - I really hope we can work all of this out. Jim wrote to BnB to let them know about Friday's surgery. 

Friday morning I worked and then we went to the hospital and I could not go in so I went to the mall and walked and walked and then Gail called and said surgery was delayed so no rush and then I walked and bought some stuff and then went to the hospital and sat and waited and then Beth called and then finally he was done and they brought me in and he was really wacky and quite overwhelmed - cold and scared and needed to have a bowel movement and it took a while to get him calmed down but we did and Jaclyn and Lauren did so so great. We got home and he ate a bit and then we went to bed. 

 

Saturday was RAW but we did go out for lunch and then I drove to the park and did a loong walk and then we had fish for dinner and then Jonas called and then it was Sunday and Milton and Annika and lunch from Taco Cabana and a short walk and the the afternoon went fast and I watched the last part of the Holocaust Conference with Pieter ? who told the story of his journey to freedom from Holland through France to Spain and then South America ... Jim was more tired and a little feverish, but okay. 

Sunday numbers:

World: 116,822,839 - 2,593,073 dead

US: 28,991,680 - 525,031

Russia: 4,274,263 - 87,614

Texas: 2,695,558 - 45,315 dead

Florida: 1,944,995 - 31,683 dead

Sweden: 684,961 - 13,003 dead