Eleven eleven

May 25

Laundry, vacuuming and futzing about. Spent most of the day on Jim's computer.


 World: 5,495,061 - 346,232
US: 1,662,302 - 98,220 dead
Sweden: 33,843 - 4,029 dead
Russia:
Florida: 51,746 - 2,252 dead (908,235 tested)
Texas: 56,409 - 1,533 dead  (805,654 tested)


May 26

Work. Looong walk about David Bowie and the invisible fabric that connects us and feeds us, broken by the virus, repaired by music. The end of DCI Banks. Tired and out of sorts.


 World: 5,589,932 - 350,456
US: 1,681,212 - 98,916 dead
Sweden: 34,440 - 4,125 dead
Russia:
Florida: 52,255 - 2,252 dead (923,224 tested)
Texas: 57,230 - 1,546 dead  (821,233 tested)


May 27

Work. Info sheets and marketable skills. Today we officially hit 100'000 dead in the US.Wrote MW and was surprisingly sad.


 World: 5,695,155 - 355,688
US: 1,699,933 - 100,442 dead
Sweden: 35,088 - 4,220 dead
Russia:
Florida: 52,255 - 2,252 dead

Texas: 57,230 - 1,546 dead

May 28

lost the numbers. Talked to Kathleen who is now a life coach. Hmm.

May 29

The Beth thing. Went well, I think.


 World: 5,927,255 - 364,933
US: 1,747,087 - 102,836 dead
Sweden: 36,476 - 4,350 dead
Russia:
Florida: 54,497 - 2,413 dead
Texas: 61,630 - 1,635 dead

May 30

Talked to Mom. Made a yellow necklace. Jim slept a lot and worked on his computer. Loong walk.


 World: 6,063,588 - 369,244
US: 1,770,384 - 103,781 dead
Sweden: 37,113 - 4,395 dead
Russia:
Florida: 55,424 - 2,447 dead
Texas: 62,894 - 1,657 dead

May 31

Talked to Rachel - Milton again, to line 108, book seven. Talked to David. Made yellow earrings to go with the necklace. Riots across the country, but also police standing with the protestosrs. Another long walk.

 World: 6,166,978 - 372,037
US: 1,790,191 - 104,383 dead
Sweden: 37,542 - 4,395 dead
Russia: 405,843
Florida: 56,163 - 2,451 dead
Texas: 64,652 - 1,675 dead

WTF - ten for the price of everything

May 18


just a day like a day that was a day. Walked in the park with Jim and then walked home.

World: 4,805,005 - 318,534
US: 1,508,598 - 90,353 dead
Sweden: 30,377 - 3,698 dead
Russia:
Florida: 46,442 - 1,997 dead (676,412 tested)
Texas: 49,185 - 1,350 dead  (723,013 tested)


 May 19

I need to say things today, about how fragile identity is - how not having it reinforced by daily interactions with others frays it at the edges. and about how what is normally panic and unsettledness at 3 am in the morning, when everything seems off, is now the norm. The normal, the everyday, is now what comes in fleeting moments and so I struggle to hold myself together. I have an identity deficit and I withdraw into myself, to the pieces of me that are not dependent on other people, to the music that I mirrored myself in and that lets me feel the feelings. I listen to music like people eat vitamins.
Also, our identity is not an essence, it is made up of threads interwoven with other people and so when they are gone, when they die, they unweave part of us and we have to get together, tell stories and hug each other to reweave the pieces together - to darn our identities and relationships to each other.
Also, Rachel told me of a failed marriage - and I really don't know what to make of it, what to think, but find that that too tears my fabric a little.

 World: 4,897,567 - 323,286
US: 1,528,568 - 91,921 dead
Sweden: 30,799 - 3,743 dead
Russia:
Florida: 46,944 - 2,052 dead (715,855 tested)
Texas: 50,552 - 1,388 dead  (744,937 tested)


May 20

so much work, so many pieces missing and so much left to do, every day. Desperate to advise, enroll, support. Not much left for me to grow on, and yet. To focus on that gives me goals, something to do, something that matters and makes a difference. Beyond the tedium and sadness of isolation.

The bird baby is doing well at least. That makes me happy.


 World: 4,995,712 - 328,095
US: 1,551,853 - 91,921 dead
Sweden: 31,523 - 3,831 dead
Russia: 308,705 - 2,972
Florida: 47,471 - 2,096 dead (771,348 tested)
Texas: 51,673 - 1,426 dead  (770,241 tested)


May 21

snuck up to the office for a bit, Beth was there, Michael had left a CD in my mailbox. Got Halal food. Talked to Rachel for a bit, miss her. Got a new office chair and some clothes I had ordered from JJill. Listened to a talk about Islam.


 World: 5,102,424 - 332,924
US: 1,577,147 - 94,702 dead
Sweden: 32,172 - 3,871 dead
Russia:
Florida: 48,675 - 2,144 dead (813,929 tested)
Texas: 53,053 - 1,460 dead  (770,241 tested)


May 23

Not sure how Friday got missed, but there it is - missed. Ah well. Today lots of computer woes for the SO and Emporium Pies after dinner at In-n-Out. Mom told the same story twice - or was that yesterday?


 World: 5,311,624 - 342,105
US: 1,622,670 - 97,087 dead
Sweden: 33,188 - 3,992 dead
Russia: 335,882
Florida: 50,127 - 2,233 dead (856,437 tested)
Texas: 54,776 - 1,478 dead  (762,706 tested)


May 24

Talked with Rachel. Spent most of the day on Jim's computer.


 World: 5,408,301 - 345,064
US: 1,643,499 - 97,722 dead
Sweden: 33,459 - 3,998 dead
Russia:
Florida: 50,867 - 2,237 dead (871,235 tested)
Texas: 55,885 - 1,528 dead  (763,766 tested)

WTF - nine weeks now

May 11

got the stuff for beef fried rice.


World: 4,177,504 - 286,330
US: 1,347,881 - 80,682 dead
Sweden: 26,670 - 3,256 dead
Russia:
Florida: 40,596 - 1,735 dead (561,057 tested)
Texas - 40,555- 1,117 dead  (525,697 tested)


May 12

stopped by Michaels to get wire for the necklace. Made beef fried rice. Took a short walk for lunch and a long walk later. Mom did not answer her phone.

World: 4,261,955 - 291,964
US: 1,369,574 - 82,376 dead
Sweden: 27,272 - 3,313 dead
Russia: 232,243 - 2,116 dead
Florida: 41,923 - 1,779 dead (579,604 tested)
Texas: 41,432 - 1,146 dead  (525,697 tested)


May 13

Got stuff at Michaels to make earrings. Played Kahoots with the staff at the end of year Teams do.

World: 4,347,018 - 297,197
US: 1,390,406 - 84,119 dead
Sweden: 27,909- 3,460 dead
Russia:
Florida: 42,402 - 1,827 dead (594,763 tested)
Texas: 43,020 - 1,172 dead  (587,431 tested)


May 14

almost caught up ... well, you know ... almost

World: 4,442,163 - 302,418
US: 1,417,774 - 85,898 dead
Sweden: 28,582 - 3,529 dead
Russia:
Florida: 43,210 - 1,875 dead (608,837 tested)
Texas: 44,480 - 1,235 dead  (623,284 tested)


May 15

got the exit interviews out - and NO emails when I quit at six thirty. Hump.

World: 4,542,752 - 307,696
US: 1,443,188 - 87,559 dead
Sweden: 29,207- 3,646 dead
Russia:
Florida: 44,138 - 1,917 dead (608,837 tested)
Texas: 45,865 - 1,284 dead  (645,992 tested)


May 16

shredded things and finished another necklace. Talked to mom on Facebook. Felt sick for a while - runny nose and muscle ache - after a two hour nap things got better.

World: 4,634,132 - 311,781
US: 1,467,884 - 88,754 dead
Sweden: 29,677- 3,674 dead
Russia:
Florida: 44,811 - 1,964 dead (630,047 tested)
Texas: 47,452 - 1,318 dead  (678,471 tested)


May 17

Talked to Rachel. Went to Turner Falls. It was pretty. Made earrings.

World: 4,713,769 - 315,187
US: 1,486,757 - 89,562 dead
Sweden: 30,143 - 3,679 dead
Russia:
Florida: 45,588 - 1,973 dead (651,792 tested)
Texas: 48,396 - 1,343 dead  (693,276 tested)

WTF - week eight

https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html

May 4
Argh ... or something. The ongoing saga is going on and it is tiresome and exhausting. I keep registering people, so that is good. Got a short walk for lunch and then when Jim was on a conference call I did a one and a half mile walk in 30 minutes and listed ton 10CC and it was glorious.

World: 3,582,469 - 251,510
US: 1,180,288 - 68,922 dead
Sweden: 22,721 - 2,769 dead

Florida: 36,897 - 1,399 (444,270 tested)
Texas 32,783 - 901 dead  (407,398 tested)


May 5

Cinco de Mayo on Taco Tuesday - eh. The silliness continues, but I did have a chance to talk to Kendra for a bit and I went for another walk.


World: 3,663,824 - 257,239
US: 1,204,479 - 71,070 dead
Sweden: 23,216 - 2,854 dead
Russia 155,370 - 1,451 dead
Florida: 37,439 - 1,471 dead
Texas 33,912 - 925 dead  (407,398 tested)



May 6

Did a test run for the LIVE event tomorrow. Got the catalog language for the degrees and actually learned a bit. Got VPN access installed. Talked to Anna F about her proposal. Got the list of graduating folks and prepared the "exit interview" file.

World: 3,755,341 - 263,831
US: 1,228,603 - 73,431 dead
Sweden: 23,918 - 2,941 dead

Florida: 38,002 - 1,539 dead (480,051 tested)
Texas 34,928 - 954 dead  (438,938 tested)


May7

Town Hall went okay. Performance review went okay. Focus on professional development of PhDs and numbers/alums/recruiting. Did the walking again.


World: 3,846,861 - 269,584
US: 1,256,972 - 75,670 dead
Sweden: 24,623 - 3,040 dead

Florida: 38,8258 - 1,600 dead (492,950 tested)
Texas 36,047 - 985 dead  (455,162 tested)


May 8

Got closer on the catching up. Lunch with Michele. Town hall with all faculty and staff. Wonderful to see a hundred people present and talking. The discussion of RIF is scary as shit, but hopefully can be avoided. There is a part of me realizing a horrid thing - My brain will not process the really scary stuff and how real it is even for others because I am terrified even to be close to the fear and the helplessness and so my brain shuts off. I am sorry my empathy is limited - I am just terrified.

A bit shorter but still walk, with Marianne Faithful, then to Terry Blacks for barbeque. So fucking bizarre to be out in the world and realize how empty it is, how quiet. In between, the places that are open, that try to serve food or stuff and people are trying to be out and be normal but half of the people and all of the staff are wearing masks.

World: 3,939,119 - 274,917
US: 1,283,929 - 77,180 dead
Sweden: 25,265 - 3,175 dead

Florida: 39,199 - 1,669 dead (513,341 tested)
Texas 37,246 - 1,025 dead  (477,118 tested)


May 9

We started the day with Hannah's Zoom memorial, and then went to McKinney where Jim talked to a client and I went for a wonderful soothing walk. Hannah's spirit was in the grass and the trees and the birds and there was peace.
Then we went home for some lunch and then Grace in Gateway park and then sweets from 85 degrees and then the Godfather. It was a good day.

World: 4,024,973 - 279,321
US: 1,309,541 - 78,794 dead
Sweden: 25,921 - 3,220 dead

Florida: 40,001 - 1,715 dead (527,731 tested)
Texas 38,394 - 1,066 dead  (489,294 tested)



May 10

Called Rachel who was really not up for talking too much. Then talked to mom. Made breakfast. Went random for a bit and then Jim took a nap and me too for a little bit, but I got up coz I was anxious and sent out the PhD degree plans and that took too long and then it took a some time to recover and then we went by the storage space and ended up getting pizza for dinner and then watched another episode of DCI Banks.


World: 4,101,699 - 282,709
US: 1,329,260 - 79,526 dead
Sweden: 26,322 - 3,225 dead
Russia: 209,688 - 1,915 deead
Florida: 40,596 - 1,721 dead (538,948 tested)
Texas 39,258 - 1,094 dead  (501,776 tested)